This card that mocks Wisconsin is the best fake card there is
It’s tough here on the streets of the Internet. Clicks are Gold (or Spice if you’ve recently seen Dune) and it’s every man, woman, and influencer for themselves here.
This card, which is not new, has been making the rounds of Internet users again for a few days. At first glance, it’s easy to see why, I’ll go over the highlights in a minute but before I do, let’s talk about this map and a bit of Internet 101.
This card is TOTALLY made up. The account it comes from is Lights, Camera, Pod, a branch of the Barstool empire that knows a thing or two to catch the eye on the internet.
There are some things that should warn you that this is wrong. There is no sourcing at the bottom of the page. The second should be the two lines below the title of the card. What does “Based on Social Media, Wal-Mart and Target” mean? And then just below it actually tells you NOT OFFICIAL.
That being said, it’s what’s inside the card that makes it go viral. Setting up KitKats and Skittles on all states is boring, although that’s probably what the map looks like. No, this card is like a Where’s Charlie? for the incriminated States.
Let’s start with Wisconsin.
Hilarious. Wisconsin thinks cheese is candy. To like.
There is more.
The baked beans are the funniest on the board. If that doesn’t immediately remind you of another internet meme, start searching on Google.
The candy points are horrible. The worst candy ever. You eat paper and they taste like your grandmother’s old porcelain, the set she doesn’t really care about. Arizona is West Florida, but they’re not that dumb.
Iowa and Mississippi
These two states receiving the candy corn treatment are fun. If I had made this map, Iowa would have been the sole owner of candy corn for the same reason that Wisconsin is the only state that has cheese slices. Corn is part of Iowa’s identity. That’s about all they have.
Here, we’ve donated Massachusetts Circus peanuts, which are only slightly better than candy. Rhode Island gets the only “acceptable” candy with Lemonheads. They are good but you only need about 2 a year. Max. And then Connecticut gets raisins. AKA Nature Sweets.
All the answers that will piss people off and share content. It’s a beautiful ballet.
If you’ve made it this far, thanks for the page views. Now you can dive back into the internet for brighter items. Or read this next list of arbitrarily ordered candies. The choice is literally yours.